Most of the time, when someone sees a writer, it is after the dust has settled and the smoke has cleared. Their book has hit the shelves, Amazon, or their online store. They have taken that long awaited exhale from the pressures of publishing, had a celebratory drink and sent out enough “thank-you’s” to last them a lifetime. This is the part that the public sees. There are very few people behind the scenes with a writer; throughout the entire process with them, watching what it really takes to get through writing an entire book. I will tell you, it is hell.
When I embarked on the journey to start writing my first book, Playing with Fire, I knew it wouldn’t be a cake walk, but I never knew it would be the journey that it was. There were tears, there was intense frustration, there were misconceptions about my ability to actually be a writer; honestly there are STILL moments when I do not consider myself to be a writer (I still say, I have written two books instead of “I’m an author”).
The things that writers don’t tell you are that sometimes we want to quit writing. Sometimes we don’t feel like great writers. We strive to feel like we are giving you our best work, and most times, it doesn’t feel like our best. We go through many drafts, many rounds of editing and many rounds of deleting and erasing and marking out words that don’t make any sense, just to make sure things feel just right; and sometimes, we are still not certain that it is exactly what our audience wants.
I am a beginning author. I don’t have a large following, I am not a best-selling author; however, I am an author just the same. I have been writing for over five years now, therefore, I give myself the title of writer. I still get nervous before I hit “Publish” on any post I put on my blogs, and my last two books gave me the worst bouts of anxiety when they went live on Amazon’s website. I had all the confidence in the world for myself, but I want you all to love the work I put out there.
The nerves, the anger, the frustration, the tears, the emotions, the gratitude, the satisfaction, the chaos, the whirlwind; none of it, some of it or all of it are things you may or may not have the pleasure of seeing when you experience the life of a writer. Just know, that when a writer is creating, they are putting their very best into every word of it, just for you.